Being Models

Do you tend to imitate others or try doing things in new ways? Do you see your main role as imitating someone else or doing the best you can with the gifts God has given you? If you are a superior or formator, do you try to understand each formee and help him or her develop their unique gifts, or expect them all to behave the same way?

Models are certainly a great help. When we are born, we are the most helpless and dependent. Our parents (and others) taught us how to speak, walk, eat, use the toilet, wear clothes, and do many other things. In most areas of life, we are neither creative nor meant to be. Thus, I need not walk on my head, eat through my nose, or try to see through my ears. In most activities, we repeat what millions of other humans have done before us. We did not invent our mother tongue or any other language we may know. How a child is conceived and born today is in the same way as at the time of Abraham or Moses -- except for the medical facilities.

But the one huge difference between humans and animals is creativity. The laptop or the cell phone I am using did not exist a hundred years ago. The eye surgery I had two months ago was not possible years ago. To be human means to be creative -- to seek better and better solutions to life’s problems. Thus, we have far better medicine than centuries ago, far superior modes of travel and communication, better ways of eating and dressing.

We learn best, not by reading books or watching videos on the cell phone, but by observing the best human beings who have gone before us. Thus, a young married woman knows how to look after a child by experiencing her mother’s care, by seeing how other family members care for children. We learn to speak a language by listening to thousands of speakers. We learn to sing or dance or play games by observing others, by listening, by trying to do the same things well.

In any area of life, a good model is a far better teacher than someone who simply lectures or preaches. This is where the saints play a huge role in our life. Why did so many young women join the Missionaries of Charity? By being inspired by Mother Teresa and her helpers. Why did well-to-do Indians join Mahatma Gandhi and were ready to be beaten or jailed? His example was the main motivation. So many young men and women became Franciscans or Clarist nuns after they saw how Francis and Clare left comfortable upper middle class lives and chose a far more demanding way of life.

In the 1980s, there was a violent movement in Italy called the Red Brigades (Le Brigate Rosse, in Italian). They had recourse to violence to change the political situation. Many young people joined this movement. In one of their most shocking decisions, they kidnapped the Vice President of Italy, a good, upright man called Vittorio Bachelet, and killed him. A huge crowd gathered for this good man’s funeral. There was not only deep sorrow at the tragedy, but also immense anger against the Red Brigades. During the funeral service, the deceased Vice President’s son, John Bachelet, went to the mike. To everyone’s shock, he uttered these words: “I forgive those who murdered my father.” There was utter silence and bewilderment in the church. Then the crowd burst into applause.

After this totally unexpected and heroic act of forgiveness, many members of the Red Brigades left this movement. They saw how a young man of their age, instead of demanding that the murderers be captured and killed, chose to forgive them. They saw a better way than violence to improve society.

An inspiring model has far greater impact than an eloquent preacher or a leader who offers impressive advice but fails to live by it.

For eighteen years, I was on the staff of a major seminary—Sacred Heart Seminary, Poonamallee, Chennai. One lesson I learnt convincingly was this: The seminarians observe the formators carefully. They study us minutely. They seemed to know everything about each of us—how we related to others, whom we associated with, whether we showed favoritism, when we came to church, what clothes we wore, how we travelled; in short, they knew almost everything about our lives.

They are not much influenced by our conferences and advice. They observe us closely and speak freely with those whom they trust. They have a high regard for genuine staff members and maintain an affectionate relationship with them throughout their lives. It is genuineness and unfeigned warmth and goodness that touch and influence people—not clever conferences or long sermons.

May you and I, as persons publicly committed to lead a Christ-centred life, be models through a good, humble, simple, joyful life. That is the best sermon or conference anyone can give.

Blurb

So many young men and women became Franciscans or Clarist nuns after seeing how Francis and Clare left comfortable upper-middle-class lives to choose a far more demanding way of life.

An inspiring model has far greater impact than an eloquent preacher or a leader who offers impressive advice but fails to live by it.