When the Call Fades Quietly

Recent reports indicate that nearly eight out of ten individuals who enter formation houses do not continue until final commitment. The numbers may differ from place to place, but they invite us to stop and ask: why does the call fade quietly for so many? Every year, young men and women enter novitiates and formation houses full of faith and enthusiasm. Their laughter fills our corridors, and their presence gives new life to our communities. Each one carries a personal story of family, faith and longing for meaning. They come hoping to give their lives to something greater.

Yet, as time passes, some quietly step away. They do not leave in anger or rebellion, but in silence, sometimes with peace, with confusion, with pain they cannot express. Their eyes tell the story first: the sparkle fades, conversations become shorter, and their hearts begin to close.

It often begins with silence. A young religious person stops sharing honestly. Fear of being misunderstood or judged takes over. They hide their doubts behind polite smiles. Formation becomes a routine instead of a journey. They continue their prayers, studies, and apostolates faithfully, but the inner fire has gone out. They do what is expected, but joy is missing. Many carry hidden struggles, such as academic difficulties, loneliness, or insecurity. Some come from simple backgrounds and feel unprepared for the intellectual or emotional demands of formation.

Today’s young candidates are not like those of earlier times. Most belong to what we call Generation Z, born in a world of smartphones, fast internet, and instant communication. They think quickly, act decisively, and want quick answers. Waiting and silence often feel unnatural. Their worldview is shaped more by social media than by Scripture. Many have grown up without deep catechetical formation. Some join with limited knowledge of the Catholic faith or without a clear understanding of consecrated life. A few come with learning difficulties, emotional wounds, or behavioural challenges. This does not make them bad or less; it simply means formation has become more complex. It requires patient, skilled, and compassionate formators who can understand their world, guide them gently, and walk with them at their pace. If the formator lacks experience or psychological insight, these hidden struggles can easily remain unnoticed until it is too late.

There are also practical realities. Some candidates join religious life with mixed intentions, hoping for education, financial security, or a better future. Others enter too early, before they have truly come to know themselves. When their goals are met or when difficulties arise, their desire to stay weakens. It is not always dishonesty; sometimes it is immaturity, or simply a gradual realisation that their calling lies elsewhere. What matters is that they can make this discovery with honesty and freedom, not with guilt or shame.   Formators today carry heavy responsibilities. Besides administrative duties, they are expected to be spiritual guides, counsellors, teachers, and companions. Many are overworked and underprepared. Without time for deep listening, they too can grow silent and distant. When both the formator and formees stop communicating, misunderstandings grow.

A true vocation is never wasted; it leads each one closer to the truth of God’s plan for them. Our task as religious leaders is not to hold people back, but to walk with them in truth. We are called to build houses where young men and women can speak freely without fear, struggle without pretending, and stay because they have found inner freedom. If we can listen more to their silence, fatigue, and longing, perhaps fewer hearts will fade away. And even those who do leave will know they were understood and loved. In the end, a vocation is not measured by how long one stays, but by how deeply one listens to the quiet voice of God.

(The writer, based in Jamshedpur, is a psychologist who works at XLRI)

Blurb

The task of religious leaders is not to hold people back, but to walk with them in truth. We are called to build houses where young men and women can speak freely without fear, and stay because they have found inner freedom.